Perch
My heart perches on the edge of a couch,
uncomfortable with silence
desperately wanting to be filled,
So my heart sighs, and leans back just a little,
resting in moments passed and already gone,
until I am restless and anxious,
resting in stagnation,
until I can’t breathe,
and every atom within me longs to fly.
When I look down, my eyes are opened
to everything in motion all around me and in me
I realize that I’m already flying
on wings that are absolutely divine
so I perch now on the edge of a cliff.
toes curled and knees bent, anticipating
and jump off the edge in to beautiful exhilaration
and I’m alive again.
I think I forgot what it felt like to breathe
in Love in every breath,
but I have tasted what I have not seen,
and I’ll long for more and more.
like an addict never satisfied,
I’ll give more than I have.
They’ll call me crazy, but I know
what waits for me
after I’m done waiting for everything
and jump off my perch in a tree,
just a small twig
that couldn’t have been comfortable
except that I knew it was there,
waiting to break.
But I think I forgot what it felt like
to hear freedom in branches breaking
and crashing down below me
as everything I’ve ever done is left
falling with the weight of insecurity
and slipping away with guilt that kept
its slimy fingers clamped around my throat.
and when I find that I have a voice,
it cries out Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
I will praise the One who saves
all of my days,
Hallelujah all of my days.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Facade of Ages
It's days like these,
the cloudy ones
where the wind blows through my sweater
and makes me shiver, but maybe
not from the cold.
The world holds us down,
pinned under the weight of a thousand pains.
This town tells us to stay.
And we know that if we could,
we would all just run away.
It's days like these where I can
See it in the streets,
reflecting in the windows of the shops,
not meeting my eye,
in the wooden pew,
in the other room.
Facades like a giant masquerade,
smiling, happy faces,
covering wretched grimaces of broken love,
just trying to escape.
And I can see,
we all just want to run away.
To where will you run?
In what corner of this dark world
will you take your final comfort?
In the midst of thunder, lightning, winds
that rush around me,
in the face of the Facade of Ages,
I feel whispered lies, spoken
so gently into my ear, so sweetly
I'm sick, broken, on the floor.
Yet it will be Love that holds me here,
Love that turns my determined countenance
to the storm, set in stone,
rooted and unmoved.
It will be Love like magnets
that draws my broken pieces back together,
moving in fast forward
to the silhouette of a killing cross,
on which the Son of Man suffered
for Everlasting Love
until I'm whole,
until Love's arms are the only thing I can find
into which to run.
the cloudy ones
where the wind blows through my sweater
and makes me shiver, but maybe
not from the cold.
The world holds us down,
pinned under the weight of a thousand pains.
This town tells us to stay.
And we know that if we could,
we would all just run away.
It's days like these where I can
See it in the streets,
reflecting in the windows of the shops,
not meeting my eye,
in the wooden pew,
in the other room.
Facades like a giant masquerade,
smiling, happy faces,
covering wretched grimaces of broken love,
just trying to escape.
And I can see,
we all just want to run away.
To where will you run?
In what corner of this dark world
will you take your final comfort?
In the midst of thunder, lightning, winds
that rush around me,
in the face of the Facade of Ages,
I feel whispered lies, spoken
so gently into my ear, so sweetly
I'm sick, broken, on the floor.
Yet it will be Love that holds me here,
Love that turns my determined countenance
to the storm, set in stone,
rooted and unmoved.
It will be Love like magnets
that draws my broken pieces back together,
moving in fast forward
to the silhouette of a killing cross,
on which the Son of Man suffered
for Everlasting Love
until I'm whole,
until Love's arms are the only thing I can find
into which to run.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Over Me
1 Samuel 2:1
Then Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the Lord;
in the Lord my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.
There is no one holy like the Lord;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God."
Over Me
God, you are everything.
You are jealous for my heart,
and so I give it all to you.
As Hannah once prayed,
there is no Rock like our God.
There is no one
that can dare compare to your love,
for it cannot be tamed
and your mercy falls in torrents
over me.
God, you are everything.
You are more real than anything I know,
and so I surrender my heart.
You think I am beautiful,
and you delight in me.
There is nothing
that can ever destroy your love,
for it is made of everlasting design
that this earth cannot comprehend.
And you place your love over brokenness,
over me.
God, you are God of all.
You are holy and steadfast, mighty Lord.
I will give all to serve you,
for you have laid down all for me.
There is no one besides you,
there can be no other Love I own.
Your grace catches me every moment,
and you have placed your everlasting hand
over me.
Then Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the Lord;
in the Lord my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.
There is no one holy like the Lord;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God."
Over Me
God, you are everything.
You are jealous for my heart,
and so I give it all to you.
As Hannah once prayed,
there is no Rock like our God.
There is no one
that can dare compare to your love,
for it cannot be tamed
and your mercy falls in torrents
over me.
God, you are everything.
You are more real than anything I know,
and so I surrender my heart.
You think I am beautiful,
and you delight in me.
There is nothing
that can ever destroy your love,
for it is made of everlasting design
that this earth cannot comprehend.
And you place your love over brokenness,
over me.
God, you are God of all.
You are holy and steadfast, mighty Lord.
I will give all to serve you,
for you have laid down all for me.
There is no one besides you,
there can be no other Love I own.
Your grace catches me every moment,
and you have placed your everlasting hand
over me.
Friday, October 15, 2010
HOLY SPIRIT
I think that lately, God has been trying to teach me about the Holy Spirit, and I love it. In September, I was reading through John, and was really struck by some verses about the Holy Spirit, and then when I finished, I randomly decided to read 1 Corinthians, where God really pointed out the verses about his Spirit, and then last weekend in Iowa, much of what we talked about was about being filled with the Holy Spirit, which is talked about in Ephesians. So, here are the verses that have been on my heart lately!
John 14:16-19
"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. the world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him, but you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you will also live."
John 15:26-27
"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning."
John 16:8-11
"When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement; in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to judgement, because the prince of this world now stands condemned."
John 16:13-15
"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you."
1 Corinthians 2:10-12
"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."
Ephesians 5:15-20
"Be very careful then, how you live--not was unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
John 14:16-19
"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. the world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him, but you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you will also live."
John 15:26-27
"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning."
John 16:8-11
"When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement; in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to judgement, because the prince of this world now stands condemned."
John 16:13-15
"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you."
1 Corinthians 2:10-12
"The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."
Ephesians 5:15-20
"Be very careful then, how you live--not was unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Love Eternal
The other day, I was doing homework and feeling rather unmotivated to finish my paper, so I decided to go on a walk, and read and have some time in God's word and in prayer. And this is what God gave to me, so I wanted to share it with...whoever reads this.
Love Eternal
"Tell me your secrets,"
my Lord calls out,
"your heart is full of beauty,
I love you without doubt,
and would you but reveal
to me the depths of your longing,
I'd fill you with Love Eternal
and a knowledge of belonging."
Oh, the love of a Savior
conquers all fear,
sets me on fire,
and stays me here.
In the arms of Love Eternal
I am, finally me,
and there is one thing I know:
I was blind, but now I see.
How I tried to conquer
the darkness on my own,
but found that more surrounded,
the more I was alone.
In a crowd of the unwanted,
the diguised, and abused--
in the midst of drowning, heard,
"There is no flaw in you."
Oh, the love of my Savior
conquers spreading fears,
heals a wounded heart,
and stays me here.
In the arms of Love Eternal,
beautiful I can be,
it is the only truth I know--
I was blind, but now I see.
In the arms of Love Eternal,
I was blind, but now I see.
I found my inspiration from two places in Scripture, John 9 and Song of Songs 4:7. The love of Christ for us washes away the lies that the world wants us to believe, the lies that tell us that we aren't good enough, not strong enough, not beautiful or not "cool" enough. The Lord want us to give our hearts to him fully, to rely on him fully, trusting in him with the deepest parts of our hearts, with our fears and our insecurities. We can't do it on our own; we end up more alone and more confused than we were before. But putting our trust in the Lord never fails. I hope this was as encouraging to you as it was to me!
*also, this poem was written by me. please don't copy it without permission. thanks!
Love Eternal
"Tell me your secrets,"
my Lord calls out,
"your heart is full of beauty,
I love you without doubt,
and would you but reveal
to me the depths of your longing,
I'd fill you with Love Eternal
and a knowledge of belonging."
Oh, the love of a Savior
conquers all fear,
sets me on fire,
and stays me here.
In the arms of Love Eternal
I am, finally me,
and there is one thing I know:
I was blind, but now I see.
How I tried to conquer
the darkness on my own,
but found that more surrounded,
the more I was alone.
In a crowd of the unwanted,
the diguised, and abused--
in the midst of drowning, heard,
"There is no flaw in you."
Oh, the love of my Savior
conquers spreading fears,
heals a wounded heart,
and stays me here.
In the arms of Love Eternal,
beautiful I can be,
it is the only truth I know--
I was blind, but now I see.
In the arms of Love Eternal,
I was blind, but now I see.
I found my inspiration from two places in Scripture, John 9 and Song of Songs 4:7. The love of Christ for us washes away the lies that the world wants us to believe, the lies that tell us that we aren't good enough, not strong enough, not beautiful or not "cool" enough. The Lord want us to give our hearts to him fully, to rely on him fully, trusting in him with the deepest parts of our hearts, with our fears and our insecurities. We can't do it on our own; we end up more alone and more confused than we were before. But putting our trust in the Lord never fails. I hope this was as encouraging to you as it was to me!
*also, this poem was written by me. please don't copy it without permission. thanks!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
WOO it's been a while...
Well it's no longer summer, which means that maybe the name of my blog doesn't really fit anymore. Maybe I'll change it. We'll see. It also means that it's been over a month since I've updated this thing...which is not good. It's not what I intended, anyway.
I don't think I'll try to update every detail of what I've learned since August, but I've learned a lot! A lot of things are different now too! Like school. Which is taking over my life. And Ekklessia (house church), which is taking over my heart. God really is doing such incredible things relationally in our house church and I'm so excited to see how much more he does even this semester! I think we've really grown together as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, which is really incredible to me. Basically, I love it.
I've been reading a lot lately about how the Lord is the light of the world, but the world is filled with darkness, and darkness doesn't understand the light. It's strange, but I've read about this twice in the past few days in two completely different places in the Bible.
First one, John 1:3 says, "Through him all things were made, without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
AND Isaiah 60:1-3 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
The brokenness of this world breaks my heart, and I can see and feel the darkness all around me in my classes, in my town, in the church, everywhere. As sinful humans, we really can't escape it. But how amazing is it that the Word says that the Lord rises upon us? He has given us life that is the light of men, Jesus, and yet we still have not understood it. And yet God chooses us. He loves us, and cherishes us, and reveals himself to us. And all we must do is believe and be changed.
So in the midst of everything crazy, I guess I'm just holding on to the fact that I'm saved from the darkness of this world, and must arise, and shine, so that others can come to the brightness of His dawn.
That's all I've got...now I have to actually go do my homework. Go figure. :)
Love and peace!
Jen
I don't think I'll try to update every detail of what I've learned since August, but I've learned a lot! A lot of things are different now too! Like school. Which is taking over my life. And Ekklessia (house church), which is taking over my heart. God really is doing such incredible things relationally in our house church and I'm so excited to see how much more he does even this semester! I think we've really grown together as friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, which is really incredible to me. Basically, I love it.
I've been reading a lot lately about how the Lord is the light of the world, but the world is filled with darkness, and darkness doesn't understand the light. It's strange, but I've read about this twice in the past few days in two completely different places in the Bible.
First one, John 1:3 says, "Through him all things were made, without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it."
AND Isaiah 60:1-3 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
The brokenness of this world breaks my heart, and I can see and feel the darkness all around me in my classes, in my town, in the church, everywhere. As sinful humans, we really can't escape it. But how amazing is it that the Word says that the Lord rises upon us? He has given us life that is the light of men, Jesus, and yet we still have not understood it. And yet God chooses us. He loves us, and cherishes us, and reveals himself to us. And all we must do is believe and be changed.
So in the midst of everything crazy, I guess I'm just holding on to the fact that I'm saved from the darkness of this world, and must arise, and shine, so that others can come to the brightness of His dawn.
That's all I've got...now I have to actually go do my homework. Go figure. :)
Love and peace!
Jen
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Crazy Times and Lessons in Humility
Well, clearly I haven't done a good job of keeping this blog up to date! Unfortunately, or fortunately, I've been REALLY busy lately. I went home to Kansas City to see my family and friends, moved to a new house on the other side of campus, and have been spending lots and lots of time at church events and hanging out with friends, learning about God and this life he's given me. I finished reading Ezekiel, and if you haven't read it, you should! It's really incredible how God has brought us out of our sinful and helpless state to a place where we are free and clean and forgiven. So, needing something to read, I decided to move to the New Testament and started to read Matthew. I've been really enjoying reading Jesus' words and teachings and seeing how people reacted to him then and how I can apply that to my life now.
Matthew 18:3-4
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Humility has been addressed time and time again in many sermons that I've heard over the years, but it's never failed to convict me. Pride gets in the way of so many things that God wants for us, and until we can overcome pride and become humble like a child, then we're going to miss out on many of God's blessings. Just the other day, I was reading this passage in Matthew and it struck me again, how truly humble we're called to be.
But this isn't just because God says so, He calls us to this because he himself is humble. The bible says that Christ is gentle and humble in spirit. The God of the universe is humble enough to send his beloved son in human form to the earth. It's crazy to think about that.
It's also easy to think of ourselves as nothing compared to God. God is GOD. He made the universe. We are definitely very very small compared to him. But what about other people? Are we thinking of ourselves as less than those around us? Or are we keeping others down, even unintentionally, so that we are seen as better, or even more popular? I know I struggle with thinking that if I have nothing in common with someone, it's okay to just not reach out and befriend them. If you dig deep enough, there is always something you have in common with whoever you meet. Some people more than others, but showing Christ's love doesn't mean just saying hi and walking away. It means really having tough maybe awkward conversations that really show them that you're interested in who they are and what they think. It means talking to them enough to share life and share the Good News with them.
So no matter how crazy life gets, it's not our story that's the big picture. Much love amigos!
Matthew 18:3-4
"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Humility has been addressed time and time again in many sermons that I've heard over the years, but it's never failed to convict me. Pride gets in the way of so many things that God wants for us, and until we can overcome pride and become humble like a child, then we're going to miss out on many of God's blessings. Just the other day, I was reading this passage in Matthew and it struck me again, how truly humble we're called to be.
But this isn't just because God says so, He calls us to this because he himself is humble. The bible says that Christ is gentle and humble in spirit. The God of the universe is humble enough to send his beloved son in human form to the earth. It's crazy to think about that.
It's also easy to think of ourselves as nothing compared to God. God is GOD. He made the universe. We are definitely very very small compared to him. But what about other people? Are we thinking of ourselves as less than those around us? Or are we keeping others down, even unintentionally, so that we are seen as better, or even more popular? I know I struggle with thinking that if I have nothing in common with someone, it's okay to just not reach out and befriend them. If you dig deep enough, there is always something you have in common with whoever you meet. Some people more than others, but showing Christ's love doesn't mean just saying hi and walking away. It means really having tough maybe awkward conversations that really show them that you're interested in who they are and what they think. It means talking to them enough to share life and share the Good News with them.
So no matter how crazy life gets, it's not our story that's the big picture. Much love amigos!
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